Book 1
the original

from the book

One minute you are young and carefree. Then all a sudden, you find yourself turning down the radio volume in your car to see better.

My wife has been missing for over a week now. The police told me to prepare for the worst. So, I went to Goodwill to get all her stuff back.

I am not sure exactly how many problems I have
because math is one of them.

Nowadays, I don’t rise and shine.

I caffeinate it and hope for the best.

My tattoo artist is the only person I trust with Vaseline on their fingers.

I went to see a psychic and knocked on ther door. She asked, “Who is it?” So, I left.